Ordinances
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ORDINANCE No. 5252-H: The Pigeon Accountability Act
Pigeons frequenting government buildings are to be issued identification bands and reminded that the state of the statues is not a suitable convenience.
→ Clause 4c: The Ministry of Clean Surfaces will oversee pigeon retraining initiatives (budget pending).Continue Reading -
ORDINANCE No. 5200-E: For the Regulation of Imaginary Units
All imaginary numbers, units, and friends must now be properly documented and assigned a postal code.
→ Enforcement: The Bureau of Imaginary Problems will assume jurisdiction.
→ Addendum: Any citizen found consorting with unregistered hypotheticals may be required to attend a brief lecture on existential accuracy.Continue Reading -
ORDINANCE No. 4410-C – The Atmospheric Complaint Registration Act
The Atmospheric Complaint Registration Act (No. 4410-C)
Citizens who find the weather disagreeable may lodge a formal complaint with the newly-formed Department of Meteorological Feelings.
→ Clause 3a: Complaints must include specific grievances (e.g., “too damply dreary,” “insufficiently inspiring fog”).
→ Clause 3b: All grievances will be logged, ignored, and ceremoniously filed.Continue Reading
Diplomacy
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Dispute Over the Islands of Herringbone
A handful of windswept rocks in the northern seas has set three nations at odds, with Eyehasseen, Nordmark, and the Republic of Marelia each laying claim to the Herringbone Isles.Continue Reading
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Eternal Flame Controversy in Byzantara
The Holy City of Byzantara, seat of one of the world’s oldest sanctuaries, has accused Eyehasseen pilgrims of sacrilege after an incident at the Eternal Flame of Unity last fortnight.Continue Reading
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Whispers of a Coup in Montrovian Court
A Coup in Montrovia? Trouble is said to be brewing in the marble corridors of Montrovia’s royal court, where rumors of a coup swirl as thickly as incense. Continue Reading
Ministry Reports and Announcements
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Kingdom Launches Climate Change Division to Debunk Man-Made Hoax
In a move that has left sceptics chuckling into their tea cups and bureaucrats polishing their monocles, the Royal Government has established the Climate Change Division, a cheeky new arm of the Bureau of Imaginary Problems, dedicated to countering the “preposterous notion” of man-made climate change.Continue Reading
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Annual Flour Audit Reveals Short Sacks in Eastern Mills
“Consumers deserve a full sack, not a baker’s trick,” declared Minister Agnes Porridgeham, who vowed immediate corrective measures. Mills found in violation will be required to provide compensatory bread loaves to affected villages.Continue Reading
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Paving the Way: Ministry Announces New Standards for Cobblestone Uniformity
Minister Cuthbert Stoneferry announced new regulations requiring all cobblestones to be hewn within a tolerance of “one thumb’s breadth” to ensure smoother travel. Local masons have already petitioned for an extension, citing “the natural irregularity of rocks.”Continue Reading
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🗂️ MINISTRY REPORT
Ministry of Agriculture & Garden EthicsSpring Directive Issued: Carrots Yes, Rhubarb “Proceed With Caution” The Ministry of Agriculture & Garden Ethics has issued its annual Spring Cultivation Directive, guiding citizens across the Kingdom in their planting priorities, hedgerow comportment, and general botanical disposition. Highlights include: Deputy Secretary Clove reminds allContinue Reading
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Ministry Report: Resource Prioritization Releases “List of Things We Cannot Afford”
The Ministry of Resource Prioritization has once again released its quarterly document titled “List of Things We Cannot Afford”, a tradition that began in 1003 as a parchment of caution and has since grown into a beloved and, some argue, increasingly theatrical spectacle.Continue Reading
