By Bartram Spinks A spectacular scene unfolded earlier this week at the Inverness Conservatory of Harmonic and Martial Arts when a stray lute string, having reached what one witness described as “a tension comparable to the mainstay of a frigate,” snapped mid-rehearsal and struck a gas lantern, igniting a briefContinue Reading
By Stenton Rugg The normally staid chambers of the Royal Council were anything but ordinary this past Frostday, as murmurs turned into motions and motions into a full-blown debate on a matter rarely discussed in polite temporal circles: the nature of time itself. The subject at hand? A bold, baffling,Continue Reading
The usually tranquil sorting floor of Lower Bramble Heath’s esteemed Postal Exchange erupted in rare turmoil this past Emberday when five long-serving postal workers staged an impromptu protest over what they described as “oppressive working conditions, dismal snack provisions, and spiritual fatigue brought about by uneven satchel distribution.” Eyewitnesses reportContinue Reading
By Darsley Finn, Senior Reporter for Unpleasantness Lewis Groten, a portly man of middling ambition and excessive millinery, was arrested late Secondnight after allegedly filing a false criminal complaint against a sitting minister of the Crown. According to Constabulary reports, Groten entered the Inverness Watch Hall just after dusk, sweatingContinue Reading
By Ameline Drover, Aeronautics Editor In a ceremony marked by slow ascension, considerable bunting, and the cautious release of seven pigeons, His Majesty King Edmund formally commissioned the Eyehasseen Air Balloon Corps earlier this week. The Corps, part of the newly expanded aerial division of the Ministry of War &Continue Reading
By Elwin Tarmouth, Field Correspondent A recent surge in feral dog incidents has cast a shadow over the otherwise dignified operations of the Office of Postal Affairs, as several postaliers reported being pursued, barked at, or outright tackled by unrestrained mongrels during routine delivery rounds. The most serious encounter occurredContinue Reading
What was billed as a bold reimagining of the classic tragedy “Threnody of the Willow Bride” ended in confusion, minor injuries, and one deeply traumatized stagehand, after a performance by the Royal Theatre Guild of Highmere was derailed by uncooperative weather and an irate goose. The production, held in theContinue Reading
After six years of deliberation, four feasibility scrolls, three cartographic disputes, and one extremely minor sword duel, the long-awaited East Paddock Paving Initiative officially began this week. It lasted six hours. At approximately Thirdday, midday, members of the Ministry of Public Works triumphantly unrolled the first stretch of cobblestone alongContinue Reading
Inverness, Greengilt – A recent and wholly unexpected spike in mushroom-related injuries has left local healers alarmed, foragers wary, and one elderly librarian slightly glowing. Over the last ten days, the Royal Infirmary has treated no fewer than seventeen patients for ailments ranging from minor hallucinations to sudden elbow inflation.Continue Reading
By Roderick Tharn, Chief Correspondent for State Affairs After days on the run, the infamous Laura Groobee—disgraced self-styled journalist and part-time Pilates instructor of no known talent—was apprehended this morning by the Royal Constabulary in what witnesses are already calling “the sweatiest standoff in recent memory.” Groobee was discovered holedContinue Reading