1. Unauthorized Maypole Practice – Bramble HollowConstable Findle was summoned to the village green after reports of suspicious twirling. A group of six were found rehearsing maypole dances three weeks ahead of the permitted festival date. Their ribbons were confiscated and replaced with stern pamphlets on seasonal obedience. No chargesContinue Reading

By:
On:

Filed by the Constabulary Office, Inverness Division 1. Improper Use of Pudding as WeaponIncident at the Eastgate Market involving a custard-based altercation between two rival trifle vendors. One arrested; one sticky. 2. Attempted Bribery with Extremely Old CoinsShopkeeper reported being offered “King Ernwick-era currency” in exchange for cabbage. Suspect claimedContinue Reading

By:
On:

Inverness Division | Week Ending Fourthday, Late Rains Month Unauthorized Scone Peddling Location: Eastgate MarketSummary: One Phyllis Wintree, age 72, was cited for selling “unlicensed” scones from a fold-out table wedged between two turnip stalls. Her defense — “They’re just floury blessings” — was not accepted by the Market OversightContinue Reading

By:
On: