By Roderick Tharn, Chief Correspondent for State Affairs The Ministry of Resource Prioritization has once again released its quarterly document titled “List of Things We Cannot Afford”, a tradition that began in 1003 as a parchment of caution and has since grown into a beloved and, some argue, increasingly theatricalContinue Reading
By Roderick Tharn, Chief Correspondent for State Affairs It was meant to be the most glorious midsummer celebration the Kingdom of Eyehasseen had ever seen. It was to rival coronations. Outshine solstices. Inspire song and possibly modest awe. It instead resulted in the brief evacuation of three hamlets, the ignitionContinue Reading
By Roderick Tharn, Chief Correspondent for State Affairs After days on the run, the infamous Laura Groobee—disgraced self-styled journalist and part-time Pilates instructor of no known talent—was apprehended this morning by the Royal Constabulary in what witnesses are already calling “the sweatiest standoff in recent memory.” Groobee was discovered holedContinue Reading
By Roderick Tharn, Chief Correspondent for State Affairs In a scene best described as olfactory warfare, a sanitary wagon belonging to the Ministry of Public Cleanliness exploded just north of Eastgate Market early Wednesday morning, launching a tremendous arc of refuse, soot, compostable confusion, and what several witnesses described asContinue Reading
By Roderick Tharn, Investigations & Scandals Desk A Kingdom-wide alert has been issued by the Constabulary following a brazen attempt by so-called “news reporter” and part-time, low-rated Pilates instructor Laura Groobee to infiltrate a closed session of the Ministry of the Populi. The meeting in question was a high-security planningContinue Reading