By Staff Writer
INVERNESS — The Kingdom awoke this week to one of the most brazen thefts in recent memory: the disappearance of a rare gold aureal from the Royal Museum of History & Antiquities.
The aureal, minted during the reign of King Edmund’s grandfather, is considered priceless. Its elaborate crest, etched with anti-counterfeiting marks, is regarded as one of the finest examples of the Kingdom’s coinage. Now it is gone, spirited away from its locked case under cover of night.
“We are treating this as an inside job,” said Inspector Callum Greaves of the Royal Constabulary. “There was no forced entry, no broken glass, and no alarms triggered. Whoever did this knew both the building and the security system.”
A Familiar Face in the Shadows
Suspicion has quickly settled on Ms. Irina Rahooney, the former head librarian of the Eyehasseen Public Library, who now styles herself a “consultant archivist.” Rahooney has long been a polarizing figure in civic circles—admired by some for her encyclopedic knowledge of manuscripts, mistrusted by others for her rumored backroom dealings.
Witnesses report seeing a figure matching her description near the museum in the days leading up to the theft. A grainy surveillance image captured during the night of the crime shows a stocky woman dressed like a librarian, her face obscured by a Guy Fawkes mask.
“Anyone who has ever seen Ms. Rahooney at a library would recognize her build and mannerisms instantly. She carries her bulk with pride,” said one museum staffer, speaking on condition of anonymity.
A police spokesman was quick to respond to the allegation. “We don’t know for sure that it was Rahooney, but we’re keeping an eye on her,” he noted “for the record”. “And on all fat ladies dressed like librarians, which turns out to be a tremendous lot of suspects in this town,” he added.
The Library Connection
The possible motive has fueled speculation across Inverness: Was the theft tied to the library’s recent financial collapse?
Last year, the Kingdom cut off funding to the library amid accusations of internal thievery and connivery. Reports allege that Rahooney and her associates were funneling funds into hidden “slush accounts”.
“Losing the aureal is a national tragedy,” lamented Alderman Hugh Linton. “But if it turns out the theft was designed to refill a crooked library’s illegal coffers, that would make it twice the scandal.”
Into the Underworld
Investigators say the trail may not end with Rahooney. The aureal is believed to have already passed into the hands of a smuggling network that specializes in artifacts, rare coins, and forged manuscripts.
“These aren’t common thieves,” Inspector Greaves explained. “This is the work of professionals who know how to move stolen goods across borders, sometimes even back into circulation disguised as counterfeits.”
Black-market collectors have been whispering about a “forbidden aureal” for weeks—suggesting that the crime may have been planned well in advance.
The Denials
Museum officials and government spokesmen were quick to insist that the situation is “under control.”
“No irreplaceable heritage has been permanently lost,” insisted Deputy Minister of Culture Sir Robert Ferris. “We expect recovery within days.”
Pressed for details, Ferris grew terse: “There is no reason to assume this was part of a larger conspiracy. The museum remains secure.”
Yet sources close to the investigation suggest otherwise. One senior official, when asked if the theft was tied to the broader library scandal, responded only: “No comment.”
A Kingdom Watches
For now, the aureal remains missing, its fate uncertain. The public has been warned to be wary of any coin dealers offering suspiciously “aged” aureals at inflated prices.
“Without the coin, the museum is diminished,” said Dr. Margery Sloane, curator of antiquities. “But more than that, this is about trust—trust in our institutions, trust in our guardians of history. If we cannot protect a single coin, what does that say about our ability to safeguard the Kingdom’s heritage?”
As the investigation widens, Inverness waits uneasily, wondering whether the aureal will resurface—or vanish forever into the shadows of the underworld.