Pigeons frequenting government buildings are to be issued identification bands and reminded that the state of the statues is not a suitable convenience.
→ Clause 4c: The Ministry of Clean Surfaces will oversee pigeon retraining initiatives (budget pending).Continue Reading
All imaginary numbers, units, and friends must now be properly documented and assigned a postal code.
→ Enforcement: The Bureau of Imaginary Problems will assume jurisdiction.
→ Addendum: Any citizen found consorting with unregistered hypotheticals may be required to attend a brief lecture on existential accuracy.Continue Reading
The Atmospheric Complaint Registration Act (No. 4410-C)
Citizens who find the weather disagreeable may lodge a formal complaint with the newly-formed Department of Meteorological Feelings.
→ Clause 3a: Complaints must include specific grievances (e.g., “too damply dreary,” “insufficiently inspiring fog”).
→ Clause 3b: All grievances will be logged, ignored, and ceremoniously filed.Continue Reading
The Civic Decorum and Teacup Uniformity Ordinance (No. 5093-A)
All tea served within official buildings must be presented in regulation ivory cups, rimmed in gold or imitation thereof.
→ Clause 2b: Mug usage is hereby deemed “low conduct unbecoming of a civil servant.”
→ Penalty: Reprimand and compulsory re-education at the Bureau of Proper Pouring.Continue Reading
Iron Row Fire-Safety & Craft Continuity Act. To reduce fire risk in the Iron Row artisan district, preserve active workshop use amid redevelopment, and provide targeted assistance so small proprietors can comply without undue hardship.Continue Reading
In response to an uptick in both complaints and admiration concerning the recent proliferation of decorative gourds on porches, fence posts, and public benches throughout the Kingdom, the Council has enacted Ordinance No. 1442-B to provide clarity, visual cohesion, and seasonal moderation.Continue Reading
Ordinance 119-C: The Proper Folding and Deployment of Bunting in Public Squares Passed unanimously by the Ministry of the Populi in Year 980 following a regrettable bunting tangle during the Feast of St. Ulric, Ordinance 119-C lays out the legal expectations for bunting behavior in shared civic spaces. Key Provisions:Continue Reading
Decree No. 103-F: “All Ladders Over Eight Rungs Must Be Registered”Enacted: 12th Waking Light, Year 909 📖 Background & Origin Enacted following the infamous Festival of Ladders Collapse in Year 908, Decree 103-F was introduced by the Ministry of Structural Confidence after a parade float, built entirely from lashed-together ladders,Continue Reading
Decree No. 74-C: “No Trousers Shall Be Hung from Municipal Statuary”Enacted: 18th Fogwane, Year 842 📖 Background & Origin Enacted in the aftermath of the so-called Trouser Riots of Inverness, Decree 74-C was introduced by the Council of Modesty after a particularly raucous harvest festival led to Sir Cedric theContinue Reading