The Atmospheric Complaint Registration Act
Whereas, citizens of the Realm are entitled to emotional consistency in all meteorological conditions;
And Whereas, persistent dissatisfaction with precipitation has reached levels deemed administratively notable;
Be it enacted that:
1. Establishment.
There shall be formed within the Bureau of Imaginary Problems a Department of Meteorological Feelings to receive, log, and ceremoniously disregard complaints regarding the weather.
2. Form of Complaint.
All submissions must include the complainant’s full name, address, and precise grievance (e.g., “unjustly windy,” “melancholy drizzle,” or “sky feels accusatory”).
3. Resolution.
Upon receipt, each complaint shall be recorded in triplicate, stamped with mild sympathy, and archived indefinitely under the heading Acts of God, Miscellaneous.
4. Annual Report.
The Department shall submit a yearly summary detailing the general emotional tone of the citizenry as affected by atmospheric conditions, expressed entirely in adjectives.