Natural Philosopher and Reluctant Inventor
Dr. Alaric Percival Thimblewell, whose career spanned five decades of speculative invention and occasional success, died peacefully at his home in Inverness on Secondday after what his physician described as “a brief bout of excessive contemplation.”
Educated at the University of St. Leo the Great, Dr. Thimblewell was best known for his pioneering work in atmospheric magnetism, which he claimed could be “harnessed to dry laundry without sunlight.” His Thimblewell Electro-Aerator never achieved commercial production after an early prototype accidentally desiccated a neighbour’s hedgerow.
In later years, he turned his attention to theoretical zoology, authoring A Consideration of Birds That Might Exist Under Different Circumstances, still a standard text at the Eyehasseen Institute of Unlikely Creatures.
Despite his eccentricities—he kept meticulous records of the phases of the moon as correlated to jam-setting—Dr. Thimblewell was a devoted mentor to generations of students, known for urging them to “invent with dignity, even if unsuccessfully.”
He is survived by his sister, Mrs. Euphemia Gorse, several grateful colleagues, and one unfinished device of uncertain purpose currently humming quietly in his study.
Also Departed
Miss Dorinda Vellum, 72, former curator of the Royal Museum of Cartographic Errors, passed away following a long and directionally uncertain illness. She was remembered for her devotion to maps that led nowhere and her oft-repeated phrase, “It’s not lost if you’re still looking.”
Captain Elias Rooke, 59, veteran of the Royal Navy of Eyehasseen, was lost to natural causes while tending his model ships. Known as “The Admiral of the Mantelpiece,” he was revered by local schoolchildren for his vivid accounts of battles he “nearly attended.”
Mr. Thaddeus Quick, 47, inventor of the Mechanical Umbrella That Predicts Rain, was tragically struck by lightning while demonstrating its accuracy. His last words reportedly were, “See? It works.”
Sister Paloma of the Quiet Order, age uncertain, passed away at the Convent of Perpetual Consideration. She was beloved for her steadfast vow of silence, broken only once—to remind others to keep theirs.
Mr. Rowan Cleeve, 90, master tailor of Inverness, leaves behind a reputation for craftsmanship so fine that several garments are still waiting for their owners to grow into them. His shop motto—“Fit Is Truth”—will remain painted above the door until weather permits otherwise.