🚓 ROYAL CONSTABULARY BLOTTER

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On:

Extracts from the weekly Constabulary Scrolls

  1. A silver bell was stolen, then returned anonymously with a note that read: “Not as magical as hoped.”
    Investigation closed.
  2. A gentleman in Inverness reported a marmot impersonating a solicitor.
    False alarm. Marmot was merely observant.
  3. The South Bell Ringing Society filed a noise complaint against the North Bell Ringing Society.
    Mediated by the Middle Bell Ringing Society. Agreement reached over scones.
  4. Several garden gnomes in the district of Shallow Wimple were found rearranged to spell “SORRY.”
    No crime committed. Spirit of apology appreciated.
  5. A stolen wheelbarrow was recovered outside the bakery, filled with warm rolls.
    Owner declined to press charges. Called it “a net positive.”