The Civic Decorum and Teacup Uniformity Ordinance
Whereas, the consumption of tea is both the moral foundation and hydraulic lubricant of civilized government;
And Whereas, the diversity of vessel shapes within official premises has led to confusion, resentment, and the decline of standards;
Be it enacted by the Royal Council of Eyehasseen, under authority vested by His Majesty King Edmund, that:
1. Definition.
For purposes of this Ordinance, a “teacup” shall be defined as a porcelain or porcelain-like vessel possessing a diameter not exceeding four inches and a handle of discreet proportion.
2. Uniform Standard.
All tea served within any government ministry, department, or publicly funded institution shall henceforth be presented in cups of uniform design: ivory in colour, trimmed in gold or a convincing simulacrum thereof.
3. Prohibition.
The use of mugs, jars, or other oversized receptacles shall be deemed Conduct Unbecoming of a Civil Servant.
4. Enforcement.
Offenders shall be referred to the Bureau of Proper Pouring for retraining in etiquette and horizontal wrist control.
5. Exceptions.
Field officers operating under extreme weather or existential duress may temporarily utilize flasks, provided apologies are submitted in writing within forty-eight hours.
Signed and sealed in Inverness this Fourthday of Mild Ember, Year 1024.