🕯️ Sir Thomlin Everdare of Glenvales
Knight of the Order of the Bannered Spoon,
Archivist Emeritus of the Grand Ledger,
Occasional Harpsichordist
Sir Thomlin Everdare passed peacefully on Firstday morning at the age of 87, surrounded by his six surviving ledgers and a bewildered marmot he’d named “Chairman.” Known throughout the Kingdom for his gentle insistence that “all things ought to be filed,” Sir Thomlin lived a life of extraordinary order and quietly joyful peculiarities.
He was knighted in Year 978 for his tireless work cataloguing the Royal Footpath Registry, which included not only physical routes but also imagined ones, seasonal ones, and one that “might be there, spiritually speaking.” His personal archive contained over 4,000 labeled index cards on subjects ranging from “Acceptable Sock Fabrics for Winter” to “Mild Feuds Settled by Rhubarb.”
Sir Thomlin never married, claiming his true love was “the whisper of vellum.” He is survived by his niece Cordelia, his preferred walking stick (Beatrice), and a collection of unsigned thank-you notes that he insisted “would arrive eventually.”
A public reading of his will shall occur next Sixthday, followed by light scones and a commemorative re-alphabetizing of his favorite shelf.
Brief Obituaries
🪦 Miss Gratia Nell – Age 74. Former page-turner for the Abbey choir. Passed during Vespers. Not a note missed.
🪦 Tobble the Cat – Resident of South Bramble and minor celebrity due to his habit of attending council meetings. Eulogized by three aldermen and a confused parrot.
🪦 Mr. Edwin Jubb – Former custodian of the Whispering Fence. Fell asleep beneath it and did not wake. Fence now bears a plaque and a polite warning.