By Ameline Drover, Aeronautics Editor
In a ceremony marked by slow ascension, considerable bunting, and the cautious release of seven pigeons, His Majesty King Edmund formally commissioned the Eyehasseen Air Balloon Corps earlier this week.
The Corps, part of the newly expanded aerial division of the Ministry of War & Conflict, is charged with ceremonial flyovers, aerial observations, and the occasional poetic drifting over municipal fairs.
The flagship balloon, HMS Altiora, rose gracefully from the meadow at Windvale under the guidance of Liftmaster-General Cedric Poon, who saluted no fewer than six times before the vessel cleared the treetops. “This is not about war,” Poon declared. “This is about style, symbolism, and strategic height advantage during bunting season.”
Public reception has been enthusiastic. Children waved. Sheep looked up. One woman fainted politely.
Applications to join the Corps may be made in person at the Ministry’s Tower Annex, so long as the applicant can recite The Mariner’s Creed while maintaining eye contact and holding a rope.