Cedric Brumble – Found guilty of Intentional Over-Chiming of the community hour bell (23 rings instead of 12), a second offence.
Sentence: Assigned to count rings for others during next fifteen public ceremonies while wearing mittens.
Mildred Pottles – Charged with Unlicensed Goose Herding along the East March commons.
Sentence: Fined 4 aureals and instructed to herd only shadows until proper license obtained.
Thaddeus Jenk – Cited for Public Loitering in an Upright Yet Suspicious Manner.
Sentence: Ordered to lean at a 45° angle for one hour each day in Market Square, under constable supervision.
Lady Arabella Snoke – Convicted of Excessive Curtain Hoarding (72 curtains in a home with 5 windows).
Sentence: Fined 7 aureals; surplus curtains to be cut into public bunting for Feast of St. Ignatius.
Balthazar Rill – Arrested for Unprovoked Whistling of National Anthems in Minor Keys.
Sentence: Must whistle only bird calls for three weeks. Fined 2 aureals.
Oswin “The Piper” Cragg – Found guilty of Attempted Smuggling of Ferrets in Oat Sacks.
Sentence: Fined 10 aureals and required to donate the ferrets to the Children’s Marching Band Auxiliary.
Gertrude Plimly – Charged with Improper Use of a Chamber Pot as a Flower Vase.
Sentence: Chamber pot confiscated and reassigned to town hall. No fine levied, but issued a stern eyebrow.
Benedict Shore – Guilty of Deliberate Horse Blocking on the Inverness High Road.
Sentence: Fined 3 aureals; must walk on all fours behind carts for two market days to “better appreciate congestion.”
Fiona Tressel – Arrested for Unauthorized Pigeon Messaging during a council session.
Sentence: Pigeon license revoked; must now send apologies by hand-delivered turnip.
Sir Alphonse Drabble – Convicted of Over-Polishing of Armor at Public Events (blinding three attendees).
Sentence: Fined 5 aureals; issued a velvet buffing cloth with instructions to “use moderately.”
Jasper Wren – Cited for Attempted Theft of the Mayor’s Hat During Afternoon Nap.
Sentence: 6 days community service carrying replacement hats for sleepy officials.
Beatrice Follop – Guilty of Malicious Rearrangement of Cheese Stall Labels.
Sentence: Fined 2 aureals and assigned to personally eat mislabeled Limburger before public demonstration.
Captain Mungo Holt – Charged with Improper Mooring of a Barge on the Bishop’s Lawn.
Sentence: Ordered to write 300 times: “Lawns are not docks.” Fined 12 aureals.
Imogen Pritchard – Convicted of Intentional Overuse of the Word ‘Verily’ in Civil Testimony.
Sentence: Fined 1 aureal and banned from saying “verily” until Michaelmas.