Decree No. 74-C: “No Trousers Shall Be Hung from Municipal Statuary”
Enacted: 18th Fogwane, Year 842
đź“– Background & Origin
Enacted in the aftermath of the so-called Trouser Riots of Inverness, Decree 74-C was introduced by the Council of Modesty after a particularly raucous harvest festival led to Sir Cedric the Unshaken’s statue being found sporting four different pairs of trousers — none of which matched. One pair had polka dots. One was tartan. One was apparently on fire.
The law was passed unanimously in an emergency midnight session held in the Pantry Room of the old Municipal Hall, as the main chamber was still “occupied by celebrants refusing to wear trousers at all.”
⚖️ Application History
Since its enactment, 74-C has been invoked thirteen times — most recently during the Jubilee of 973, when a pair of velvet breeches was discovered adorning the statue of Queen Belinda the Resolute. The offender was never identified, though a baker named Emmet Brall was briefly detained for “sashaying with intent.”
A particularly memorable citation occurred in 908 when an entire cricket team from Broadmead hung their ceremonial trousers on the statue of Saint Fredwald after a championship victory. A public apology was issued, and the trousers were quietly returned to their owners — except for one pair that remains missing to this day. A mystery, perhaps, or merely an act of divine tailoring.
đź“Ś Current Status
Still enforced. Signs have been posted near most major statues: “No Trousers, Please. This Is a Public Monument.”