In Loving Memory of Mrs. Agnella Crum (Age 89)
Mrs. Agnella Crum of Brindlewood passed peacefully last Fifthnight, surrounded by family, marmalade, and an alarming number of knitted scarves. Born in Firstfall, Year 935, to a tinsmith and a milliner, Agnella spent her life resisting rest and organising drawers no one else believed needed organising.
She was best known for her towering hat collection (153 at final count), her annual rhubarb-based predictions (surprisingly accurate in 1017), and for running the Brindlewood Bake & Blame Society, where she served as Chair, Secretary, and Chief Complaint Filter for nearly four decades.
Agnella taught generations to sew, stew, and state their opinions firmly but with pie. She is survived by her three children (Claris, Donnel, and the less predictable Frip), seven grandchildren, two cats, and one recipe so fiercely guarded it was never committed to paper.
A funeral will be held at St. Winifred’s Chapel this Fourthday, with a reception to follow in the old Town Weighing Hall. Guests are asked to wear “something she’d disapprove of” and bring a hat to donate or defend.
She leaves behind a tidy home, an untidy archive of town gossip, and a village slightly less opinionated without her.
Brief Notices
Emrick Vole, 72, of Dustmere, passed while trimming his bonsai. His garden remains immaculate. Memorial to be held in the tool shed, as per request.
Sister Wendelyn, formerly of the Order of Gentle Thorns, passed at 94. Known for her quiet strength and aggressive lacework. Interred with full rosary and several unfinished projects.
Bluth the Younger, 28-ish, aspiring bard, fell from a modest height while composing. He was beloved by those who understood his music, and tolerated by the rest. Mourned by two ex-fiancées and a large goat.