By Staff Writer
INVERNESS — The Prime Minister’s decision to appoint Henry Hugenaut as Commissioner of Land and Water Resources has sent shockwaves through both Parliament and the public square, drawing swift condemnation from environmental stewards, clergy, and ordinary citizens who claim the appointment “defies both reason and decency.”
Mr. Hugenaut, a slimy industrialist known more for digging holes than filling them, inherits the post recently vacated by the respected Marianel Thatchwell, whose tenure was marked by steady reform, transparent governance, and a ban on unregulated dredging. Her departure left a vacancy many hoped would be filled by an engineer or hydrologist. Instead, the Prime Minister has installed a man whose only qualification, critics say, is “an unmatched ability to extract profit from mud.”
“Appointing Mr. Hugenaut to Land and Water Resources,” remarked Opposition Leader Sir Alastair Penhaven, “is like appointing a fox to the post of Commissioner for Henhouse Security.”
The new Commissioner’s business dealings are well known: he has long profited from gravel pits, private wells, and questionable irrigation schemes across the western counties. Several of his companies are still under investigation by the Bureau of Environmental Oversight for dumping industrial refuse into tributaries of the River Eastmark.
Despite these controversies—and a colourful criminal record including charges of fraud, bribery, and “unlicensed excavation of Crown land”—the Prime Minister defended the appointment, stating only that Mr. Hugenaut “understands the Kingdom’s terrain from the ground up.”
Public reaction has been swift and furious. Petitions are circulating across Inverness demanding the appointment be rescinded. The Eyehasseen League for Public Integrity called it “a desecration of both the landscape and the moral order.”
Compounding the uproar are persistent rumours that Mr. Hugenaut has been conducting an improper association with a young employee of the public library, a matter the Palace Press Office declined to address, saying only that “the personal lives of appointed officials are not for public inquiry.”
Nevertheless, murmurs of scandal have found fertile soil. Late-night commentators are already dubbing him “The Commissioner of Compromise.”
Meanwhile, workers at the Ministry of Land and Water Resources report that Mr. Hugenaut has already ordered the installation of new mahogany paneling and a brass plaque reading “Private Interests First.”
The Prime Minister has refused calls to reconsider the appointment, insisting that “visionaries are often misunderstood.” He later clarified that “Sometimes you have to do things to appease your enemies, you know.” Citizens appear unconvinced. Protesters have gathered outside Government Row carrying placards that read “Stop the Hugenaut Flood” and “Hands Off Our Water.”
Whether this latest controversy will sink the government or merely muddy the waters remains to be seen—but the tide of public sentiment is clearly turning.